this is a piece of shit. don't go ard telling ppl i write poems. please.

Should i continue working my way down this seemingly endless path that seems
to lead to nowhere?

this doubt about pursuing electrical engineering, electronics, robotics and artificial intelligence, and a whole host of other crazy ideas is recurring with greater frequency these days. yet the passion i have for these things is undeniable. i cannot relinquish them.

i have witnessed another idea collapsing before my very eyes this afternoon. i dont seem to be able to salvage it from the heartless process of engineering decision. And that decision appears to write off all the effort spent on and off this thing over the past 4 yrs or so.


Doubt
------
The craziness of those ideas make them flimsy
nothing to stand against
the winds of skepticism
blowing from the inside, and the outside

doubt has been lingering around every dark corner
something that appears everytime i hold up the mirror
in self-scrutiny

a spectre resides within me
it reminds me of a bad past
it threatens a terrible future
if i choose to keep bashing through this uncertain path

uncertainty and doubt
the two horns of the devil
that devil's inside me
and i can't get it out

i don't know
don't know if i should keep making these silly patterns
patterns that consume my mind
and sap my energy

and when a nasty revelation appears before me
the shock waves of the ringing death knell
smash my house of cards
all the hearts and gems come crashing down
so does faith

the joker sneers at me

all for nothing
wasted energy
dissipated into the nothingness of the universe

if that is what lies ahead,
a disappointing retreat i must make

should i go on?