cautious optimism

its been a very blessed week. its amazing how coming home to spend the night for the past week does wonders to one's emotional state.

or perhaps its the free time this gives to reflect and think about the self, to work on the phenomenal task of clearing up my own internal mess, trying to unearth my hidden self that's buried below. Just a few days of effort, and i think its already shining through the cracks between the debris. i don't feel so awkward, though i still do at times. during the worst periods of the past, it was so awkward and difficult even to exist.

i think my friends would have noticed i've been naughtier and noisier and more restless and active. i was like this in the last two years of primary school, and for occasional periods of time in secondary school, and in rare bursts at the VJ robotics lab. still need to learn to tame myself, even as im trying to embolden myself. (hmmm maybe i used the word 'emboldened' in error.)

i pray it gets better by the days, and i become the better person i should be.