nostalgic songs that revive memories

its the weekend again. what am i doing?
there's just too much reading to be done. so much to be studied and pondered over and learnt. so much insight to gain. the thought of it is staggering and even depressing. trips to the awesome national library only makes the brain hungrier and full of want...(did i use 'want' correctly?) impatience from youthful zeal...

the second week of the M113 'Ultra' Operator Maintenance course (or is it operational maintenance, or is it operator-maintainer...) has ended...very boring indeed. most of the time has been spent taking naps on the deck of that rectangular aluminium tin can, or amongst the pillars and OVM cages of the 46SAR vehicle shed. weather's been erratic, but mostly quite warm. when the sky gets dark (as it has for a number of days) and the winds blow and it threatens to rain, the ominous atmosphere and the almost empty unit premises (they're all on leave before ORD) make a good time to day dream.

but i wasn't quite in the mood to build airy castles though i wished too. day dreaming provides a great escape from the dull, boring and mundane routine of waking up at five, riding half-asleep in mum's car to the far end of singapore that is Sungei Gedong Camp (even further than Lim Chu Kang Cemetry!), lectures, tea breaks, practicals during which one idles more than 90% of the time...i was working on quickly wrapping up the circuit fabrication method project which has been a chronic intermittent(oxymoron?! no i didn't mean it that way but my english sucks) royal pain in the ass for the past FOUR YEARS. I shan't talk abt that anymore, its quite tiring when its constantly clinging onto your conscious mind. i have resolved to resolve this pain ASAP. good
riddance!

as i was working on some of that related stuff, i listened to some of the songs i had on my computer after i had exhausted Meteora in my CD drive. many of them were ripped off. some were from the VJ robotics lab computer that i was so involved with in my work there, which were in turn ripped from some CD years ago by batches of grand seniors.
but i declare that i no longer continue this practice.

each of these songs are memorable, because they've been replayed again and again while i was hard at work on the UAV project's electrical systems, especially a 'nervous system' known as the 'matrix P layer'. Its all on paper, and a lot of the design is set to change. for now, its KIV, but i'll
be back on it again only because the concept is interesting. but the methods must change. Yes...there's a second layer too. the C layer. But that was just a single concept and there was never a sustained attempt to realise it.

There is an album by Jolin Tsai. which Martin put into my computer on his own accord. Matin was involved with the UAV's construction together with Chi Hao. He's really hardworking, both with the project and his schoolwork. i get him to my whiteboard which is filled with the P layer's design thoughts to help me verify my calculations. i hate math...

There is a whole lot of J-pop mainly by Ayumi and Every Little Thing. I like Ayumi's 'Surreal', and its one of the little treats for myself when i resolve something important with a circuit or the microcontroller code. software is most confusing. I had this really difficult issue and it was a trip back home, a good bath, dinner, and then a quiet review of the chip's manual in the serenity of the living room with the whirring of the ceiling fan and my dad with his newspapers that it was resolved; with the addition of just one line of code. i had misread/left out sth in the manual.

There is Chage and Aska's 'Say Yes'...a very old song, but i've heard it before in the primary sch days on tv. Provides a comforting nostalgic feeling.

When i'm totally depressed and hate myself, or am working late late in the night in my own room at home with only the desk lamp on, messed up table with tons of stressfully scribbled paper and the windows in front of me are open, the carpark outside is almost empty, the cold wind is blowing in, i'd listen to sth like Gold 90.5 or 'you light up my life'. I've got 2 versions, by
Leann Rimes and Kenny Rogers. I like Leann's powerful singing. And 'Lonely Days' by the Bee Gees serves the occasion well too.

'Superman' by Five for Fighting is the song our class played for VJ's Music Fest. I was at the keyboard. We didn't get past the first round of selections. That was approaching the SSEF fair (i think) when i was (certainly) also involved with the report and last minute work to get everything materialise (it all didn't). And my crush was in the band (i've gotten over it btw). You can imagine how difficult the sum total of all these feels.

In January 04 while rushing a late night for the UAV's SSEF report (the fair itself is somewhere in May(?) but the report was due THAT week and my Matrix P layer's design was not confirmed!!) , when my friends chi hao and martin were trying to get the airframe done and i was trying to get out my design, and we didn't want to work in the lab so we could get away from that stupid teacher, and for a while we were at the study rooms, but they close at some
time in the night (can't remember when) so my friends secured a Council room. From there we heard someone attempting to play Coldplay's 'Clocks' on the grand piano at the Auditorium's atrium nearby. Its a meditative sound and provides some good inspiring music. esp for something as 'obscure and mystifying' as analogue electronics. (i swear rechargeable batteries and Radiofrequency design and Microwave design are really the true Black Magic) i was very worried abt getting it in time, but was also proud that less than a month after i learnt about Operational Amplifiers, i was designing a complicated circuit full of them, by manipulating some math to get the circuit i wanted (complicated doesnt mean good. and it makes you confused, drives you crazy and leaves you disillusioned. you don't even dare to draw the whole circuit out cos that feels like ripping your heart off your chest. so i,ve only tried that out once after mustering much courage and patience. with much pain haha...)